#20% of the population is now drinking coffee, 60% is having sex, 19% is watching television and one yokel is now holding his mobile in his hand
#A woman likes to have four animals in the house: a jaguar in front of the doorway, a fox in the closet, a bull in bed, and a numbskulll to pay for this all.
#Are these your eyes, I found them between my brests!
#At this moment i have a déjà vu and a loss of memory at the same time. I thin I have forgotten this before.
#Be friendly with your kids, they choose your home when you are old!
#Be nice to the ones who smoke.. every cigarette migh be their last.
#BEEB! Send this message to 5 of your friends and you will have unbelieveble sex tonight! If you break this chain, you'll never have multiple orgasm again!
#Birdy birdy in the sky, left a poopie in my eye. Me don't care, me don't cry, me just happy that a cow can't fly!!
#Braindetector activated, calibrating, now searching.........still searching......get a good grip of your mobile....still searching.......no brains found.
#Did I not see you yesterday at the mall, with a grey jacket? No? O, than it was a rubbish bag after all! .
#Do not disturb, I am enough disturbed as it is . . .
#Don't feel sad, don't feel glue, Einstein was ugly too !
#E man pays $.2,00 for a $.1,00 item that he needs, a woman pays $.1,00 for $.2,00 item that she does not need.
#Excessive use of alcohol can lead to a pregnancy.
#For you I would go as far as the end of the world. Do you promise to stay here ?"
#God created the earth, God created the woods, God created you too, but yes, even God makes mistakes!
#God created the universe, the earth, nature, the eggs, man and saw that it was good and beautiful. God also created woman and thought : ‘I hope she will make herself up’!
#HALLO, this is your mobile. There is no particular problem. I just wanted to leave your pocket, want the smell is unbearable!!!
#Hello I am a virus and I am entering your brain right now..... sorry I will leave, I can't find a brain.
#Hello, this is GOD. I make few bad creations but you are the worst monster I ever realised. My apologies on behalf of the whole world..
#How would you like your egg for breakfast.... hard-boiled or impregnated?
#I am a killer,I kill people for money.....But because you are my friend,I'll kill you for nothing!
#I am not stupid, I am blond!!! B - L - O - N - T
#I am not your type ... I am not inflatable.
#I know why I am single, my parents-in-law were not able to have kids...
#I like to compare you with a nice cold glass of beer, beautiful colour, perfect taste, really perfect and when the glass is empty i just take the next one!
#I once sniffed Coke, but the icecubes blocked my nostrils...
#If being ugly would hurt, you would be in pain all day long.
#If you have picture where you look old, keep them. In twenty years you can prove that you have not changed a bit.
#If you really ressemble the picture on your ID, you are not fit enough to travel.
#Ik would like to be a volcano... smoke all day and people say ... look he is working!
#In case of fire read this message.....................................I SAID IN CASE OF FIRE YOU FUCKING IDIOT!!
#It is charming, incredibly handsome, extremely good, well shaped, horny,an animal in bed and it knows one French word ... MOI!!
#Love me or leave me. Hey,where is everybody going ???
#Mobile sex: push 1 for oral, 2 for anal, 3 for normal, 4 for a trio, 5 for SM and for everything ... dial my number!
#My feelings for you are like the sea. " Wild and romantic ? " "No, they make me sick."
#My mother in law walks five miles every day, I wonder where she is at this moment...
#Nice perfume... but do you really need to marinate in it?
#One out of four people is a chinese. If your father, your mother and your brother are not Chinese, it must be you.
#Opticians bend your the rims/frames of your glasses for they are too polite to say that your ears are in the wrong place.
#Read in a hospital... The psychiatrist may nog be disturbed
#roses are red, violets are blue, frankenstein is ugly but what the hell happened to you????
#roses are red, violets are blue, most poems ryhm, but this one doesn't...
#Scientists in the US proved that people who do not perform well in bed and who have difficulties to come hold their mobile in their right hand ..................
#Smoking is allowed in this area, blowing not!
#The more I learn the more I get to know, the more I know the more I forget, the more I forget the less I know, so why should I be learning??
#The one who digs a hole for someone else, is sweating blood !
#They dropped your name, can you pick it up ?
#This cat, is cat, a cat, good cat, way cat, to cat, keep cat, a cat, idiot cat, busy cat, for cat, 20 cat, seconds cat! Now read it all without the word cat!
#This is the telephone terrorist team. While receiving this message a virus will be activated. This virus should have infected your mobile by now. Your mobile will be disabled, unless you are ugly.
#This is your boss: "You are allowed to read the newspaper during the working hours and do certainly not miss the job adds."
#This sms can only be read by someone SEXY:...try again...again...maybe you are just not sexy?...one more time...hey don't force it ugly!!!
#Those beautiful eyes, that incredible body, such a brain, a sexy mouth, nice smile .... but that is enough about me, tell me how you are?
#We cannot grant you a life insurance policy because you are already 102 years old. "I do not understand. It is proven statistically that at that age only few people die."
#We will now upgrade your brain.......Please wait........Searching.......Searching.......Still searching........Sorry, no brain found !!!
#What he want, I do not want ... What I want, he does not want ... What we want, is not allowed!
#When I was a dog, and you were a flower, I walked over you and gave you a shower!!
#You are an unwanted child. Your parents paid the medical expenses for your birth with their accident insurance.
#You are never too blond to learn !!!
#You got STYLE... You got SEX-APPEAL... You got the BRAINS... and you sure as hell got the BODY....WAIT!!!!!...SORRY....wrong number
#You have the ones that think and you have the ones that do things. The worst kind are those who think that they are doing things.
#You should know what it takes to look this cheap!
#You used to be so ugly that your mother had to tie a steak around your neck, otherwise even the dog would not play with you
#You will have to cut back on your sex live. What part will you leave out, talking about it or thinking about it?
#You with your beautiful eyes, you with your nice hair, you with your fantastic body ... o, sorry, wrong number
#You’d better not be a dayfly and not having your day.
#Your provider adjusted his rates. The rate is determined by the length of your genitalia, the shorter they are, the less you pay. You can telephone for free from now on!
#It's important to find a man who has money, a man who adores you,a man who is great in the sack. It's also imprtant that these 3 men should never meet!
#A man can kiss his wife goodbye. A flower can kiss a butterfly.Wine can kiss a frosted glass.But u my friend can kiss my ass!
#i tried to call you from a payphone last night. i put my doner card in by mistake, it cost me an arm and a leg!
#Hey can u do me a favour, take a pic of urself n send me it, i'm playin cards n i'm missin the joker!!
#Hey friend remember dat without stupidity there can be no wisdom & without ugliness there can be no beauty… so the world needs YOU after all!
#Jesus says to John come forth ill give you eternal life. John came fifth he won a toaster
#A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home
#At dis moment in time 10 million people r having sex.5 million people r drinking coffee.100 million people r sleeping & 1 stupid fool is reading my text!pass on
#The rain makes all things beautiful.The grass & flowers 2. If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn’t it rain on you?
#i want u 2 know dat our friendship means alot 2 me.U cry i cry.U lauf i lauf.U jump out of da window... I look down & den... i lauf again
When i open my eyes every morning
When i open my eyes every morning i pray to God that everyone should have a friend like you.... Why should only i suffer!!!
One day Santas Girlfriend asks him,
One day Santas Girlfriend asks him, Darling, om our Engagement will you give me a RING?Santa:Ya sure, Give me ur Telephone No.
When I was born Devil said..
When I was born Devil said...Oh Shit!!! Another GOD!!!..& When u were born devil said ...Oh Shit!!!!Competition...!!! ....
Fill in the blank...Im ur .....friend-
Fill in the blank...Im ur .....friend- a)-Cute b)-Sweet c)-Loving d)-Boy/Girl e)-Best of all Reply is a must...
Do U know the fullform of COLLEGE-
Do U know the fullform of COLLEGE- C-Come,O-On,L-Lets, L-Love, E-Each,G-Girl,E-Equally......Thats why boys go to college regularly....
Who said english is easy???Fill in the blank
Who said english is easy???Fill in the blank with YES or No... 1.-----I dont have brain... 2.-----I dont have sence... 3.-----I am stupid....
If ur world is spining Round & Round.
If ur world is spining Round & Round..& Round....Ur heart is beating fast ,do u think its LOVE? na Munna na its called high B/P...
God made man and then rested
God made man and then rested. God made women and then no one rested
MEN-opause MEN-strual
MEN-opause MEN-strual pain MEN-tal illness GUY-necologist HIS-terectomy EVER NOTICED HOW WOMENS PROBLEMS START WITH MEN??
This cat is cat a cat good cat
This cat is cat a cat good cat way cat to cat keep cat a cat idiot cat buzy cat for cat 20 cat seconds cat! NOW READ IT WITHOUT SAYIN CAT!
I send dis fish as a sign of friendship
><(((:>I send dis fish as a sign of friendship Plz take care of it & keep it in mobile & daily put ur mobile in water so tat fish wont DIE:-)
One day Raja and rani decided to send
One day Raja and rani decided to send messages to each other by using Pigeon instead of mobile. The very next day pigeon reached raja without any message. He angried and called to rani.She told stupid "This was a missed call"
can you lend me 2000 Rs?
can you lend me 2000 Rs? i need it. please help me out, i know you have it, i wil return it .a sardar asks to ATM machine??????
terrorists have kidnapped our lecturers
terrorists have kidnapped our lecturers... and demanded aransom of 500000 rs or else they will burn them with kerosene... plz donate. i have donated 15 litres.
Dear user,your wife can become
Dear user,your wife can become mother without your struggle!Just SMS 'CHILD' or call customer care at 9890****** & be a tension-free DAD!
A couple wanted katna(Circumcision)
A couple wanted katna(Circumcision)of their son,but they dont know proper word to print,so they printed the wording :THE CUTTING CEREMONY OF FUCKING INSTRUMENTS:
Husband seting near to his
Husband sitting near to his wife n she was driving,Husband:please slow down the speed of car.Wife:No ;please. No; please NopleaseNopls..Husband:the Newspaper ill publish ur correct Age 55 in case of axident; Ohh KHkhkhkhkhkh...
Why do couples hold hands
Why do couples hold hands during their wedding day?.?.?.?.... It is just a formality, like two boxers shaking hands b4 the fight begins !
girl friends are like mobile phone, whenever you want happiness just check inbox, whenever u want to cry check out box, and whenever u want to enjoyment just plug in your charger and enjoy.
1980 GIRL
Mama can I wear jeans.
Mama no beta log kia kahng ge.
2006 GIRL
Mama can I wear miny skirts
Mama pahen meri bachi pahen kuch to pahen.
why the groom is made to sit on the horse on marriage ceremoney? He is given his last chance to run away.
Mere sms ko teray inbox main panah mil jaye,
Tu reply na kare to tera mobile 'FANNA' ho jaye.
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Very good!
Intelligent Ho!
Kal A-B-C-D
Merry Christmas, Enjoy New Year,
Merry Christmas, Enjoy New Year, Happy Easter, Good luck on Valentines, Spooky Halloween & Happy Birthday Now bug off and don't annoy me for the next 12 months!!!!
what happend 2 ur mobile?
what happend 2 ur mobile? i was trying 2 call u but i got this msg: welcome 2 D jungle network,D monkey u r tring 2 call is on tree plz try later.
First the engagement ring, then
First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the suffering
Last night I lay in my bed
Last night I lay in my bed looking at the beautiful stars, the moon and the sky...then i thought where the fuck is my roof
Birdy birdy in the sky dropped
Birdy birdy in the sky dropped a poopy in my eye, I don't worry I don't cry, I'm just happy that cows can't fly!
If your a Vegetarian to be nice
If your a Vegetarian to be nice to animals, why are you eating there food
I'm a killer, i kill people for money
I'm a killer, i kill people for money, but you are my friend I KILL YOU FOR FREE !!
Its been a rough day.I got up this
Its been a rough day.I got up this morning,put on a shirt N a button fell off.I picked up my briefcase N the handle came off.I'm afraid 2 go 2 the bathroom
Jesus says to John come forth ill
Jesus says to John come forth ill give you eternal life. John came fifth he won a toaster
At dis moment in time 10 million people
At dis moment in time 10 million people r having sex.5 million people r drinking coffee.100 million people r sleeping & 1 stupid fool is reading my text!pass on
The rain makes all things beautiful
The rain makes all things beautiful. The grass & flowers 2. If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn’t it rain on you?
i want u 2 know dat our friendship
i want u 2 know dat our friendship means alot 2 me.U cry i cry.U lauf i lauf.U jump out of da window... I look down & den... i lauf again
An independant study has proven
An independant study has proven dat those who have a bad sex life & who are crap in bed are readin dis message in their right hand!
I'm @ the police station
I'm @ the police station now been done 4 drink driving.Urine sample was positive so I nicked the sample.they r now doin me 4 taking the piss
girls are like phones.
girls are like phones. we like to be held and talked too- but if u press the wrong button u'll be disconnected! TUM KO DEKHA TO YE KHAYAL AYA
TUM KO DEKHA TO YE KHAYAL AYA
PAGALON KAY STOCK MAIN NAYA MAAL AYA
bush nain osama ko pakarnay kay liyay 500 kutay manway hain 499 aa gay hain 1 rah gya hay sms partay
ROSE
LOTUS
TULIP
ORCHID
SUNFLOWER
JASMINE
ALL FLOWERS R SWEET
THET HAVE NO COMPARISON
WITH U!
!
!
!
!
!
KIONK GOBI K PHOOL KI BATH HI ALAG HAY.